You have heard it a thousand times. You know that it is the key thing if not the most important thing that should be on your daily “to do” list. You hear your friends, family members, and the latest articles all throw those over said clichés at you like “you cannot pour from an empty cup” or “you need to water a plant to help it to grow” and you fully agree. Deep down you know it is true. But for some reason, you just aren’t doing any of it.
You have the best intentions each week to take some time, just a few moments for yourself. You imagine and even plan on a certain day or afternoon for you to get to the salon for a pedicure or a chance to meet a girlfriend at Starbucks for a cup of coffee. You get excited with the thoughts and anticipation of some time for yourself and even go so far to plan how to really make those things happen.
But…something always seems to come up and you never go through with these grand plans. Finding those spare moments when the kids are at school or even stealing away an hour on a weekend isn’t as simple as it may sound. And sometimes it is just easier to keep on doing what you do every day. Your life starts to feel like a hamster wheel that keeps on spinning with no signs of stopping or even slowing down and that just makes you feel more disheartened. You’re not upset with the kids, your significant other or the activities and tasks that there are to do, you’re upset with yourself. For never doing anything for you.
What if there was a way that could help you figure out the one small thing that could be tweaked and changed to help the root of this issue? The real reason you’re not following through on the time and events that you dream of doing, and solve it. Well here are 5 of the biggest reasons and justifications that mom’s like you are making and some little ways that can help!
- “I don’t know what helps me take care of me and makes me happy.”
Well, there is only one way to know and that would be to try, try and try again! There are many ideas and lists out there on self-care, from the small to the bucket list filling ones. Take just a few moments today and brainstorm some ideas writing a list out on paper. Or better yet, try to do an ongoing larger list of ideas that you can constantly add to. When you do a specific one cross it off the list or rate it and comment on how it made you feel to see if it is something that you would like to do again.
A great idea is to think back to the activities you did as a kid. Did you take music lessons, enjoy a sport, draw or write in a journal, spend time outdoors? Think of all the things that used to make you happy and carefree before you became an adult with all the added responsibilities.
- “There is not enough time in my day.”
This is always a big reason mom use to avoid taking a little time for themselves. They talk themselves into the fact that every second of their day is scheduled and booked with carpool rides, drop-off/pick-ups, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry and the endless things that just pop up throughout the day. They even consider it a win if at the end of the day they have 10 minutes to watch a TV show or check email and social media. So, with all that has to be done, how on earth can they find any extra time for something fun or something focused on them?!
What if we were able to give you a new perspective on what self-care could be like for you? Have you ever seen how long an actual self-care activity would take? What if self-care could be done in as little as 5 minutes a day? Those dreams of getting out to the salon or meeting a friend may be a goal but let’s start small!
Go and spend about 5 minutes thinking about ANYTHING that makes you feel good throughout the course of the day (and I’m not talking eating a bag of Doritos or some leftover candy from the holidays!). I’m talking about the things you WANT to do but never get around to doing! Think of this as your personal “WANT” list, on a budget of course!
This list could be simple with things like dancing to your favorite song, listening to a podcast in the car when you get the kids, writing one page in a journal, sitting down to drink your cup of coffee, sitting outside on the deck, buying some flowers for yourself or taking a warm bath or shower?
The key is that this small 5-minute act should be something that gives you joy, that makes you feel good and full of energy. This then IS self-care. There is nothing more needed. The main thing you need to do is to recognize that what you’re doing is taking care of you. Make it a habit each day to just take 5 minutes. It is a deliberate, and necessary 5 minutes for you, not some stroke of luck that you found them!
- “I’m just too tired to do it now.”
For many moms, this is a common state of how they are feeling. If you aren’t already in the habit and routine of taking care of yourself before the kids come along, it can be extremely hard to get started after when you are now tired, exhausted and run-down from all the added things to do. So it is key here to just start small. As we mentioned the small 5-minute things that you can do each day can be a small step to developing routines and habits in your day that IS taking care of you. For breakfast instead of skipping it maybe you make a quick smoothie. You can try to add a new vitamin or supplement to your routine to help revive you like Vitamin B, Omega 3 or even Collagen. And for those go-getters out there adding a few extra minutes to be physical during the day may also be an option. Don’t get me wrong, we are not looking to run a marathon but maybe it’s a 10-minute walk around the block, or a quick stretch in between laundry loads, something to get your body moving. Then maybe as time goes on you can increase it to a little break on the weekends where you spend a few minutes doing something fun, just for you.
I am not going to lie, it is going to be hard to get started adding any habit or routine to your day. But the key is to have an idea and a plan, set aside the time, and then following through on that commitment no matter how small or big could be just what you need to gain some more vigor.
- “I have too much to do throughout the course of the day.”
It is true. There are always a million things that need to get done throughout the day. There are the normal routines and tasks that need to be done daily just keep everything running smoothly; getting the kids off to school, loads of laundry, food shopping, cooking, cleaning, just to mention a few. And then there are the extra added projects and commitments that we make like helping out at the class party or the committee you co-advise for the PTA and not to mention that the car needs an oil change! Of course, there will ALWAYS be something on your daily to-do list. But what does it hurt to put off doing something “perfectly” around the house and do an activity that is fun, relaxing and just for you? So, what if the clean laundry stays in the basket an extra day?!
As you just explained to your 7-year-old, sometimes compromises need to be made. What can be delayed for 5 minutes, what can you finish faster, or what can you complete that’s “good enough,” instead of perfect? Any small concession in one area is the time that can allow you to do something for you?
So, looking at the big picture the time that you have spent contemplating things to do and then talking yourself out of doing them could have been just the perfect amount of time that you could have spent doing a small and meaningful time for you! Challenge yourself and try to add 5 minutes of YOU time every week or every day! Your future self will thank you for it!
To find out how to add more habits and routines in your life so that you have time for you, schedule your FREE discovery call with me today!
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